Learning to speak

Given that I am a southerner who was raised going to church, a yoga teacher, a humanitarian, and have a mother who obsessively makes sure everything is perfect and everyone is happy, it's hard for me to remember to take care of myself and speak up about my own needs. Without sounding like a martyr, I like to put others' happiness before my own.  I am the person who lets everyone else choose their cupcake first and ends up getting whatever is left. 

Maybe it's just a coping mechanism to ignore my own problems, maybe it's because science has proven that doing good deeds for others makes yourself happy, or maybe it's just my nature. Either way, I often go out of my way to make others comfortable, often at my own expense. Even worse, I tend not to speak up about the things I want in order to appease others. 

I can't give up my nature and abandon helping others, but I can make a vow to worry more about myself. Taking on others' worries, fears and issues only makes me less able to help myself and others. I am also learning to listen to myself and give my needs a voice. If you really hate rainbow cupcakes, speak up and pick yours first so you don't end up resenting everyone else. That's my practice.