Something existential

Something existential must be in the air, because I appear to be not the only one contemplating the direction and path of my life this morning. Maybe it's the heat... or maybe I just have too many philosophical friends. Either way, it is not even 9 am and I have already had two similar conversations with two different friends about life, direction and meaning. But then again, that is really kind of how every day is for me. 

Without delving into too many details (because they are more or less irrelevant, and this quote can be applied to really any situation), my friend texted me from her situation this morning, and really summed it all up beautifully: "I'm still in that phase of like I'm totally comfortable and then I freak the fuck out when I realize where I am and for how long. I swear my life is nothing like I thought it'd be."


I'm not sure if I'm exactly where I thought I'd be, or if I don't even know how I got here. I'm not sure if I love or hate it here. I'm not sure if I want something else, or exactly this. It seems to change day to day. Maybe it all depends on if the subway comes on time. Maybe not. 


But seriously, this is where I am. I swear my life is nothing like I thought it'd be. Or it's exactly how I thought it'd be. I'm still not certain. But I like to question things. The day I stop being curious is the day I won't want to live anymore.